Pure Love

I was 12 years old and it was the first time I wanted to show a girl I liked her. It was Valentine’s Day and I was too faint-hearted to give her the box of chocolates myself, let alone tell her that I was crushing on her, so my sister gave them to her for me. I remember as if it were yesterday; Joanie had sandy hair, beautiful eyes, nice cheeks, and a very pretty smile. Just one week earlier my closest 12-year old buddies and I were convinced that girls had cooties, were tattletales, and were non-intelligible lifeforms. They existed only as trials to help boys toughen into manhood. We supposed that no respectable boy would ever give a girl a second glance. 

How were we to know that a single, well-aimed smile in our direction would crush our mighty defense systems? I was too overcome to notice then that while Joanie worked her magic spell on me, a girl named Charlene had worked a similar spell on both David and Marcus. My mind had forgotten GI-Joe, model airplanes and race cars. I was dreaming of giving Joanie a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day. Also, I needed to figure out how I was going to tell Dave and Marcus that Joanie was different than other girls. I mean, she glowed way too sweetly to have any cooties, and I knew she would never tattletale or whither in the face of danger.

I went over to my friend’s homes, not sure what I would say. When I got to Marcus’s house, they were both there and they weren’t their usual selves, engrossed in a war game or over the latest model ship or airplane; they were talking about Charlene. It took me only a moment to realize that for all our girl-hating bluster, three boy’s boys had been utterly slain and overcome by the weaker sex. It had all happened in a Sunday School class right after the teacher had mentioned “Eternal Marriage.” Joanie had looked me in the eyes and smiled sweetly. Charlene had done the same but to two boys! Holy smokes, score three knockouts for just two weak girls.

Can you remember times when your heart was stirred with love? Since that day, I’ve noticed my heart grow warm in me on many occasions. I thought my heart would explode when my father gave me my first horse and later my first real gun, and when he first took me fishing with him, and later my heart exploded again when one morning he awoke me early with a grin during pre-dawn hours. He invited me to slip out of the house and into the hills with him for my first mighty elk hunt. 

My parents gave me a trumpet and I played it with so much love that I was lead trumpet from elementary school through high school. I discovered a true love for writing; while writing I found I could pierce the veil and bring God’s Spirit into my heart and mind. I later learned that when I was troubled, I could sit down with a pen and write until my troubles were sorted. In fact, it was one day while in the college library that my heart was troubled for reasons I could not understand. I wrote for four hours--until at last it appeared on paper that I loved Colleen and was going to marry her--an important fact that had escaped my knowledge previously.

When my folks moved us to a farm, I discovered a love of agriculture and animal husbandry. My love for horses also continued to grow until one day I had ponies, riding horses of all breeds, and even draft horses and mules. I took people far and wide through the mountains on horseback. I also had a love of telling stories and named my horse business Stories, Steaks, and Saddle Sores. I would take folks riding through the mountains and we would occasionally pause to rest. As we did so I would recount true stories of miners, Indian uprisings, and so forth that occurred in the very places we were riding. I would then bring them back to camp where Colleen and our daughters would feed these good folks a five-star meal among the pines.

It is important to recognize love in all its forms; in relationships with people, in a bond that forms between humans and their animal friends; love flows forth from us through God-given gifts that we work hard with to improve. Those gifts allow us to reach and lift others more fully and as we do so we experience true love and joy. My father recognized love in the delivery room as a physician--love that inevitably melted the hearts of even the toughest men on earth as they witness the birth of a newborn son or daughter and take that infant into their arms for the first time.

True love is not to be feared, but is the truest and most pure vibration that binds all of nature into a harmony. When we live according to that harmony we enjoy its peace, sweetness, and strength. The frequency of love should be recognized and embraced as the guidepost for the highest form of existence. I treasure what I’ve learned from every person, animal, gift, talent, and otherwise that has taught me something about love. 

The sum of our love-filled experiences are evidence enough that abiding love is well-worth the effort. For as any boy’s boy can tell you, who has been smitten by a well-aimed smile, or even the toughest man can tell you who has first held his newborn child, love is the most powerful force of nature. It makes all of us bow in reverence. It makes all of us vibrate at a perfect frequency; it binds broken hearts and heals deep wounds. It can even overcome cancer, heart disease, devastating injury. Nothing catalyzes life like love.

In this volume of Living Young, I’m not going to presume to tell you how to embrace and receive love fully in your life. Spiritual writers, poets, song writers, and others have added much to the discussion. I do want to say, however, that it is a gift to be received and to be given and the more it is given the more it grows within. I read last week of a woman who set a goal to blog about a daily act of kindness and love for an entire year. As her attempts to show kindness and love progressed through the year, and as she described them through writing, extraordinary outcomes were achieved. It became one of those forever, life-changing efforts. She learned that the greatest way to receive love is to give it freely and abundantly. You simply cannot out-give the universe when what you give is love--it is utterly impossible. By comparison, self-centered living makes prunes of all of us and causes us to whither and die prematurely.

As I served a two-year mission for my church as a young man, I spent seven days a week seeking to serve the needs of others. It was an amazing experience to have been able to entirely forget myself for two whole years. It was during that period of time that I experienced love that far eclipsed the well-aimed smile of my youth that first toppled me over. As I progressed in the service of others during my mission a time came when love poured into my life from heaven with such measure that I cannot aptly describe it, except to say it was if a balloon had been steadily filled with love throughout my mission and that when it burst, I experienced greater joy and tangible sweetness than words can possibly describe. I realized, because of these experiences, that God is a Being of Loveand His entire purpose is to guide us and help us understand how to live to enjoy a fullness of love, as He does. As with any law of science the gift of pure love is bound by natural laws. When we act in harmony with those laws, we receive pure love freely, but as we act outside those laws it is as if to us love does not exist in the world.

Colleen and I met in College. Much like my experience falling in love with Joanie many years before, Colleen’s eye caught my eye one day and we took an interest in getting to know one another. We spent many hours and much time studying together, working together, playing together, and spending time with friends together. With all that and the enjoyment that accompanied it, we didn’t come into marriage with all the tools necessary to hold onto our love easily. She brought strengths and weaknesses into our marriage from her family and I from mine. We did not know how to live the pure laws of love together.

Our family traditions combined to contribute to both happiness and to unhappiness. Certain contrasts led to head-on collisions that we did not see coming during our courtship. Love grew cold on occasions and even extinguished entirely from time to time. In those moments, life was pure hell. We discovered that as dead as love may seem, love may be rekindled. When I think back of all that love and hell has taught us, I remember that I loved the trumpet because I gave my soul to it as I played it and to all within the sound of it. I played the trumpet with love. I loved animals because I cared for animals; I saw to their needs, I helped them become whole when they were sick, we enjoyed nature together, and we served the happiness of others together. I love Colleen as I serve Colleen's happiness. Nothing Colleen can do for me enable's my love for her. It is only what I choose to do for her that fills my heart with love for her. Similarly, she loves me truly and serves me continually.

Do you feel happy when you help enable a child to be happy? Do you feel love toward the child? Do you feel happy when you enable anyone else to feel truly happy and do you feel love toward them? Friends passed the hat to help me receive an emergency hip surgery. Such a gift was nearly impossible for me to receive, but their kindness and encouragement made it possible for even this independent farm boy to receive a great and needed act of charity. Later, I lost my ability to write one day when my instrument for writing was utterly destroyed. Someone who has appreciated my writing learned of what happened and purchased me an instrument that is ten times that which I used before. How do you ever thank someone adequately who reaches out in such a manner? You pay it forward?

Many years ago, after a snowstorm, I was running the blade behind our tractor down the lane to clear it so that my father, who was the town physician, could more easily traverse the half mile from the highway to our home that sat back by the river. As I neared a stream that went through a culvert running under our lane, my blade hit a large frozen chunk of earth and within less than a second the force and leverage-action caused the hind wheel of my tractor to fall off the side of the road and into the water. We didn’t have anything large enough to pull the tractor out of that predicament. It was tipped over so far on it's side it nearly tipped over. As I sat there pondering my options and dilemma, an out-of-state truck pulled slowly over at the end of our lane. A man hollered, “Could you use some help?" I nodded sheepishly, knowing that I did not possess the power to undo the mistake I had made. I was fiercely independent, but welcomed his help.

He backed down our lane in an outfit that was heavy enough and powerful enough to help my tractor back up onto the lane. It took only a minute to accomplish and when it was over I reached in my pocket and pulled out my wallet. I handed him a $10 dollar bill and He looked crestfallen and said, “No son, I don’t want your money; I’m glad we could get your tractor back onto the lane again and it makes me happy to see the relief in your face that something you could not do for yourself is now done.” Then he said, “Son, as payment to me I want you to promise me that whenever you see a true need that exists, that you will serve that need freely if you can; don't accept payment, but ask them to return the favor to someone else in need; someone helped me when I was about your age and asked me to do the same; the choice to reciprocate in such a manner has been the greatest joy of my life.”

Well, I wondered if I could keep such a promise and did not respond immediately. But it felt right to me so I promised him that I would surely try. He said that was good enough for him and he left leaving me feeling richly rewarded and happy. I was relieved on many accounts; first, to be able to complete the job of clearing the lane of the heavy snowfall. Second, I did not feel good when my father returned from such long hours as a doctor, only to find I had created burdens for him while he was gone. I was so happy he would have a clean and safe lane to drive home upon and that he wouldn't have to bundle up to face the freezing cold weather, just to go out and undo a mistake his son had made. I was grateful for the unknown stranger that gave me a moment of his time and lent the power of his beautiful truck, which far exceeded anything we owned.

Is it possible for you to notice a need in another and to reach out and fill that need, without experiencing an enlargement of your heart? I cannot do it, unless I help for reasons other than a desire to help another. The man who helped me felt joy as he witnessed my utterly real, farm-boy relief. He somehow understood and it made him happy. Do you feel happy when you lovingly care for your garden or flowers and watch them grow in beauty? Can you give your heart to the need of anything without filling your heart in some measure?

From time to time each of us have experienced pain that is brought on through how we perceive and respond to unkindness or thoughtlessness of others. If so, what is the cause and effect? Are we dependent upon what others do in order to be happy, or is there some higher natural law that enables happiness within us more surely?

An author once penned these words. Forgiveness is not required of all men, it is only required of men who have made the mistake of letting love leave their hearts because of the actions of another. He went on to teach that forgiveness is the process of us repenting for having allowed love out of our hearts; forgiveness is the repentance process for returning our hearts to a pure and loving state. He challenges that if we choose not to be offended by improper actions of others, we would have no need to forgive or to return to a pure and loving state, since we never departed from that state. What wise foresight. 

Consider this, since the earth was formed, created, and man was placed upon it the sun has never once ceased to shine within the heavens. Consider also the possibilities of maintaining a radiant loving heart that never ceases to radiate love, not even once. It is interesting to me that the great Master teacher taught that in order to be our Father in Heaven’s children we must pray for God’s blessings to be upon our enemies; we must come to love them just as God allows the sun to shine and the rain to fall upon the just and the unjust. By this we know that if we want to become as our Father in Heaven, we must learn to radiate goodness to all, always--for surly the sun’s rays are given to us all and it does not withdraw itself from the heavens on account of our good or evil. So must we become toward all men for God radiates nothing but goodness.

As you consider the natural laws that govern the most healthful state possible for the human body, which is a state of true love, one of the first principles of the law of love is that true and pure love has never been contingent upon the actions of others, but is contingent only upon the way you view the world, how you think about it, how you feel about it, and what you do about it. God’s purpose is to lead you to see, think, feel, and act as He does and to help qualify you to live within a perfect state of pure, abiding love--or in other words, the identical state in which He lives. This is Eternal life, for Eternal is His name. Eternal Life then is to live within a state of perfect love forever, just as God lives. We can receive that love just as quickly as we will learn and master the laws upon which it is predicated. Just like 2+2=4, mastering each law upon which love is predicated is the only path to the love that we all so much desire.

Just as the natural laws of science govern the rotation of the earth, the ebb and flow of the tides, and the workings of the universe itself love is also based upon natural law. Colleen and I have noted through the years, that the happiest and most peaceful people we know manage to see the world through the eyes of love. They see differently, they think differently, they act differently, and they feel differently. They most closely see, think, feel, and act as God and therefore peace and love flow unto them and from them like an endless river. We became attracted to such older couples many years ago and set a goal to become as they were before we reached their ages. All would do well to achieve a similar goal.

Our physical bodies vibrate and thrive best when tuned-in to the frequency of love. This is now a scientific fact, not hyperbole. By molecule count, we are composed of more than 99% water. Water molecules help to bind all other elements within us into their form throughout our bodies. That is why a sweetheart's lips, which contain the same carbon of a rock, are soft, beautiful, and supple while the rock is “rock hard.” The rock is not filled with water and the carbon molecules within the rock are not structured and suspended within and between countless water molecules. 

Anyone who has studied the effects of love and hate upon the structure of water can begin to understand the influence upon our physical nature as we spiritually vibrate at the frequency of love. With expressions of love through music, word, and feelings the same water, as revealed under powerful microscopes, bursts into celestial, radiant structures. By comparison, the structure of water immediately changes to dark and deathly structures whenever hateful music, words, and feelings are projected upon it. This incredible science is landmark in helping us begin to understand why our bodies quickly deteriorate under stress, hate, and bitterness, and also why others who live with similar stressful conditions, but who enable love fully in their lives, maintain extraordinary health in spite of harsh conditions.

May you learn to always live by the laws which govern radiant love, health, and peace. This Valentine’s Season, please take a few minutes to consider fully how love has catalyzed resplendent health within you during your lifetime, and how the lack of it has led to lesser states of health from time to time. As you pause to remember truly great love in your life, please take a moment in the comment section below to share your experiences and thoughts about love with us. Please share how you have seen love expressed through the gifts and talents of others, and describe all the various forms of love you have seen. Comments shared will be organized and published more fully (with the permission of contributors) in the near future within an important forthcoming publication that will be written to better inspire and sustain health in others.